January 9, 2002
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Thinking about family today.
I have 3 sisters and a mum and dad living in Calgary. I miss them all dreadfully most of the time, and the rest of the time, well, I get on with my life.
I have been wondering whether it is possible to forge any real and meaningful bonds with siblings that live so far away, you know? I mean, my one sister is a whackjob - a lovable goof and whenever we see each other, we take up where we left off, which is being silly and irresponsible. But we don’t see each other enough – say, once every 2 years so far. And we are always on reasonable behaviour when we get together, because the time is so short. And the time between so long.
And that sucks.
I am missing out on day-to-day stuff that would be so wonderful to be a part of. We could crab and kvetch at each other, dish the dirt about the others, bag our hubs and all that good stuff. And we could fight, cos boy, we do fight. We once hurled groceries at each other in a crowded street in Paris. People were diving for cover.
Memory:
Sitting on her blow-up plastic couch in downtown Calgary. Watching Stir of Echoes on the DVD. They have no furniture but a DVD. Eating pizza off the floor, drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade and keeping an ear out for my child, sleeping in a travel cot in the next room.. Smoking cigs on her balcony, throwing cheese down to a half starved cat and hitting the cars in the parking lot. Talking about her wedding in the church across the street. Nothing special about the evening, except it was so normal and well, ‘sisterly’. But it is one of my cherished memories and one that has gotten me thru some nasty places lately.
It saddens me to think that I might not ever get that back. No money on either side. And my child (while terrific) means responsibilities here that I can’t ignore. But I miss her. Phone calls and instant messaging isn’t the same.
I am missing her, and missing out.
How do people do it?
Comments (6)
{{{{hugs}}}} It's not easy. When I left the California desert I was giddy with happiness over all the bad shit I wanted to get away from. But my heart was broken because I left my best friend, my sister behind. So that shadowed any feeling of good that I had. She is married without children so it's been easier for her to come here. But once or twice a year simply doesn't cut it. We talk about the future and how hopefully we'll be closer than 1600 miles. Her husband doesn't want to move back here. That is the only thing that keeps her where she is. It's just hard. I wish I had words of wisdom for you. But you're right...phone calls and icq(in my case) aren't the same as in person.
I moved away from my sister almost 2 years ago. We see each other twice a year. That's not enough. Whenever she comes here, I wish she could live here, and I think of all the stuff that we can do--just like you're thinking.
It's hard. Our lives take us on many different paths, and sometimes the paths aren't the same as our family's.
It's nice that you have a sister that you want to be close to. Mine are both kind of weird and not at all like me. So, we really never mesh very well. We talk. But, we aren't really good friends.
Oh....honey!!!! {{{sister-hugz}}} Gawd... I wish I could reach across the globe and give you a real life hug!! Having a sister only 13 months my junior is like having a twin... I couldn't live without her! I'm sending you sisterly love right now... that unassuming, non-judgemental, totally unconditional love that your own sister would be giving you, if she could!!!!~Xanga's Irish Heart
e-mail keeps me close with my sister! that sounds silly, but it really does....
I know distance can be a bummer. I don't have a sister, or brother for that matter, but moving away from my best friend 3 years ago was really hard. And you never really are the same, the day to day stuff does matter. But you have to make the best of it and it sounds like you have some wonderful memories!
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