January 10, 2002

  •  

    Happy Happy Joy Joy


    Woo hoo! I am SOOOO healthy.


    I am so healthy I bristle.


    I am such a lovely lovely happy healthy person.


    I am not smoking, I am chewing teeth whitening gum, I am drinking herbal tea instead of coffee and I am running.


    Woo hoo.


    Okay – reality.


    I want to smoke more than I have every wanted anything in my life, except a baby. Except a smoke would calm me down and make me less of a bitch, but a baby would hep me up and I would still be the bitch I always am. Snarling and ranting.


    This gum tastes like bathroom cleanser and I can’t see a difference in my teeth whiteness. Plus, it’s loosening a cap. Not good. And then my jaw hurts cos I chew it like I smoked – fast and furiously. I look like Darlene your friendly truckstop waitress. This is not what I aspire to look like, this is not what I want others to think I look like.


    Running hurts. My lungs aren’t used to this. I gasp and hork out about a ton of nasty phleghm after I run for 30 seconds. Other runners look at me sideways as I lumber past them, proudly wearing my BoDeans t-shirt and the LoveGods track shorts. I do not look cool, or fit, or healthy. I look goofy.


    Herbal tea tastes like poop. Smells like grass cuttings. Who the hell drinks this stuff by choice anyway? Nothing like a strong cup o’ joe to kickstart the day. But nope, not when you are a new non-smoker – herbal  is the way to go. Cos you have to give up every damn thing you ever liked because now you don't smoke. No wonder people find it hard to quit.


    Instead, you should be allowed to have lots of other vices and not pay the penalty. I should be able to drink buckets of booze, smoke pot, listen to Neil Young really really loud, eat chocolate by the handful and kick small animals.

    I want to kick, I want to drink, and I want to eat myself into a newsheadline. I want 12 lusty firefighters to have to break down my door to get me outta bed.

    Argh.

    PS. Doncha just want to SLAP that lady up there in that picture?

     

Comments (6)

  • Hey!  You're biting off an awful lot to try and get perfect in one fell swoop.  My advice, stick to the stop smoking thing.  While you're trying to accomplish that, which is one of the hardest things you may ever do, indulge yourself a little in other ways.  You're going to wear yourself out trying to deny yourself all the things you like at the same time.  And be sure you give yourself a little reward every day for the fact that you didn't smoke.  Believe me, I've been quit for 6 years now.  I tried to stop so many times I couldn't count!  I know it's none of my business but take it a step a at a time.  I quit smoking and told myself I wouldn't try to stop doing or start doing anything that didn't come naturally for at least a year.  It's that hard to quit.  And after about a year I really didn't want cigs at all anymore.  It gets easier as soon as the nicotine is out of your system.  Easier and easier.  But, it's a tough battle and you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for every day you don't smoke.  I finally quit using the patch.  The gum kinda made me sick.

  • hehe. you are too funny.  i know that you were just venting, but at least you can vent in a humorous way at looking at all the difficulties in your life. BRAVO on quitting smokinig. i've tried to get my mother and two brothers to quit for years now.. i know how difficult it must be for you. but just hang in there!!! oh, that gum is horrible. i've had that before. my recommendation. get "forever white plus" it works wonders! herbal tea eh? can't say i've ever had that.. but then again i'm not a coffee drinker either. i'm more of a cappaccino girl myself. mmm....making me want some now! hehehe...well, thanks for giving me a laugh for the day.. i dont' mean to ridicule you or anything.. i love the site! i'll stop by again soon!

  • I'm totally with Margie on this one.  Don't do all those things at once.  It is hard enough to quit smoking.  You are just torturing yourself by doing the other stuff to make yourself 'healthy'.  One step at a time.  And, why the heck do you have to give up caffeine too?  That's crap.  Have a steaming cup of java tomorrow morning.  Read the paper.  Eat a sweet roll.  Give yourself a high five for every nonsmoking hour of the day.

  • You keep all that up you'll be lookin like that lady in the picture!! :)   **ducking and running**

    Seriously though... I hope it get's easier for you.  Sounds like your doing good so far!

  • good luck on your resolutions! personally, i've resolved to smoke more and to have browner teeth....

    is that kid "feeling up" her leg-shaving mum?

  • Lol!!! I'm way impressed that you're doing this all at once. I'd side with just margie and say pull back, but I also want to give you tons of support and encouragement for what you're doing. You go girl! (Or some other hip encouraging phrase used in your locale )

    And ignore those snooty runners. They weren't born looking like that you know

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment