June 15, 2002

• Tantrums.
  Mouse pulled a whopper today - flailing, thrashing, shouting and ended by flopping like a mackerel in the middle of the mall, face up like she'd just been flipped onto the river bank.
  The reason? She wanted to go look at the gum balls, I wanted not to. Fair enough. When you are two, the world is made up of things you want to do and grownups will let you, and things you really want to do and grownups really will not let you. It must be frustrating to be so little.
  And honestly, sometimes, I feel like jumping up and down and smashing my head with my fists too. There are times that only mindless thrashing will make you feel better. But of course, as adults, we can't behave like that - or can we?
  Ask my husband, who chucks major wobblies in traffic. He has been known to chase traffic morons who cut him off, open doors without looking or swerve from lane to lane. He actually gets people to roll down their windows so he can yell at them. Personally, I am too smart to roll down a window so some red faced guy that I've caused to brake sharply can talk to me. No thanks. I just smile gormlessly and wave to them, and then watch their neck veins bulge in my rear view mirror. I worry about his blood pressure - I mean, really - is he actually going to change anyone's driving habits by raging?
  
  Tantrums. Talk to my neighbour, who, when her husband left her for a younger, slimmer model - sold all his fishing equipment for the princely sum of $10 to the local kids. Fine, and it was amusing, but the equipment was worth a bundle (Loomis and Toole fly fishing rods etc.) and she could use the money.
  
  Tantrums. Speak to my girlfriend, who, when tired of her sister's constant mememememe conversations, taped her conversations and then gave it to her for a birthday present, complete with a Book entitled 'The Art of Conversation'. Cackle away, but now the sister isn't talking to her at all - and what's the point of that?
  
  Tantrums. Have a word with another friend, upon discovering that her husband's business trip was in fact, a 5 day solo holiday to Phuket, promptly left for Paris and stuffed a whole tin of baby shrimp into his CD player. In the height of summer. Took him about 4 days of gagging before he tried to play a CD. In all honesty, I found this perfectly hilarious, not the least because I'd suggested it during a 4 bottles of wine commiseration session. So er... let's ignore that one.

  
  

  And me? Well, in my wild past, I hurled my share of books, chairs and various objects across a room. Smashed a few bits of glassware, and actually cut off the arms of my ex-husbands business shirts.
  
  But I've reformed. (A child watching you when you lose it, can do that). Now when I can feel the urge to stamp and scream, I go outisde and get my whacking stick from the shed. Then I jump around the back yard and whack the ground and curse. Or I hit the boxing bag hanging in the garage until my knuckles swell.
  And you know what? I do feel better. It's usually all gone. And I can laugh about the lunatic spectacle I must pose to the kids over the fence. And I can rue my swollen knuckles or my sore arms but know that the only person aching is me - and it's temporary. it's a good ache.
  
  There's an awful lot of people running around ignoring their anger until it festers into road rage, or sneaky acts of war, or worse. Heart attacks and strokes. Frustration, disappointment, anger - it all takes its toll, even if we think we are coping just fine. We aren't. Ask yourself when the last time you wanted to snarl at the person in the checkout line with 20 items instead of 10 was. Or when you wanted to rip a telemarketer a new asshole. Or elbow someone who beat you to the last sale item. Way out of proportion, folks. Think about it. Save your anger for worthy things - shit like this, or this. (coincidence? I don't think so).
  Make your anger change something.
  And for the other stuff, maybe if everyone owned a punching bag or a baseball bat and took their anger out on inanimate items rather than someone's psyche, we'd all be a lot happier.
  And now, I am off to repair the king size holes in my flowerbed that I created, inspired in no small part by the Pearls attitude towards christian parenting and being a christian in general. I'll be composing a lot of letters while I do it.There's a lot of holes.

  • 2:24 am
  • 13 Comments