January 12, 2002

  • THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GET EASIER.


    Well it's not. I have craved a smoke about a hundred times since I got up at 6am. I have no idea what to do. The only thing that is keeping me going is the knowledge that if I give in now - then the agony of the last week is for nothing.


    I have managed NOT to be nasty to anyone, but the strain is telling. Honestly, my kid is currently throwing her chair around the room in an effort to shred my last remaining nerve. My hub is sleeping in, probably to avoid me, as I am rapidly losing patience with him as well. He better quit smoking or I will refuse to let him in the house. My kid is thisclose to being put up for adoption. Maybe she'll get a better mummy next time.


    I wish I'd actually had a clue when I took this stupid habit up at 17. I never imagined that I'd be battling the longing for cigs at 40 when I bought that first pack. In a way, that also keeps me on the 'quit track', cos I don't want to be 60 and thinking 'gee, I never imagined I'd be battling lung cancer/a stroke when I decided not to quit at 40.


    A stroke scares me the most. Yeah I know cancer is horrible, but hot damn, being mentally sharp and not being able to do much more than drool or grunt - yikes.


    Blindness scares me too. I am so intensely visual that the thought of losing my sight is terrifying. I think I'd rather lose my hearing.


    Well, I have been smart about one thing - I downloaded the screen saver from the Australian Quit Now campaign and set it to come on every 3 minutes. It's stopped me begging for 'just a drag' more than once. If anyone wants it - I'll email it to you. It will kill the craving fast, believe me. Scary stuff.


    Or check it out here:http://www.quitnow.info.au/


    (and apologies to all for being so single minded in my topic matter lately. It's pretty all consuming)

Comments (8)

  • Ok.....who's Bill Bryone...and thank you.  :)

  • Quitting was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I sure haven't regretted it. Though I hate to tell you this...it's been just shy of 13 years, and I still crave it occasionally. Especially when i have a drink in my hand. *sigh*

  • Keep up the good work. I smoked from age 15 to age 33 and quitting was definitely up there on the sucky things to do in your life list. But it will get better. Food will taste better, you'll breathe easier and you'll get to watch grandkids torment your child and laugh!!

  • I started smoking at 13 (44 years ago)

    I have a lot of friends fighting their drug habits.  THose who beat crack heroin and/or alcohol rarely beat the cigarettes.

    Thank you for visiting my site.  You may like the crazy old white man from the hood.

  • DONT EVEN BEGIN TO APOLOGIZE!!!!!!!!!!! i am so proud of you for being so strong. every year my mom promises to quit and doesn't. i'm having a battle with her right now about it. thanx for the screensaver. it will come in handy i'm sure. thanx again! hang in there. you can do it! CFarzalo

  • I think the worst bit is over. Now you're this far, you'll beat it all together. Good luck

  • I know where you are, I have been fighting the same thing.  I was on the Nicotrol inhaler, which started making me real sick....had to give it up yesterday.

    I'm back with the smokes, but still plan on quitting....It is so hard!!!!! 

    God Bless you.....Atoka

  • Hey thanks for stopping by and taking the time to post. And for bearing with me while I battle my addiction - here's to strength of will. And support from folks like you. I'm off to read your sites.

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