September 22, 2004

• Rude.

  
  

  I constantly perplexed at the number of pencil pushers who feel the need to be outright rude and unhelpful when dealing with their fellow human beings.

  
  

  Let me explain.

  
  

  I have done some work for a former colleaque who runs a successful software business. The kind of work I have done is marketing - developing marketing material for his products. I do it because I like the work (sort of) and I need to keep my skills current. And it's something I can do from home.

  
  

  But listen, this guy and his company are classic procrastinators. They set deadlines and don't get back to you until the day before, drop out of the communication loop for days on end, and fancy themselves marketing experts (read: taste experts). So given that I am writing copy, developing web sites, designing brochures, organising printers and distribution - a simple little job adds up to a lot of work. I know that, and I do it anyway for the reasons above.

  
  

  And then comes payment time. Bear in mind, because I do this 'unofficially' from my home, I do a deep discount on what it would cost him to go elsewhere. Because as I have said, I need the business and quite frankly, the extra money and let's face it - he'd probably get much flashier promo bumf elsewhere.

  
  

  But I am not a company, and in order to get paid, I need to juggle all sorts of things and call in favours from other people who are grownups with companies, so that I can invoice him.

  
  

  Sometimes, I forget.

  
  

  So back to my story. I sent an invoice for my time and work at the end of August. Payment terms are and always have been 7 days from invoice date. Last week (two and plus weeks later if you are counting), after being told by my friend that the invoice had been sent out, and he was upset I hadn't got it - I get a call from some boffin in his accounting department.

  
  

  Who is fucking rude. Pompous, cutting and rude. The convo went something like this:

  
  

  "Is this Stressmagnet?"
  "Yes it is - whom am I speaking to?
  ""It's Asshole here, I have a very very big problem with your invoice."
  "Oh yeah, sorry to hear it. Why is that?"
  ""Because you have invoiced us in your name without a tax file number and this is very wrong. I will only pay you 48% of the invoiced amount and you can claim it back from the taxation office."
  "Oh. Well,  this was a personal job for Friend, and that's why there's no taxation number." (I know stupid)
  ""I do not care that it was a personal job, it is very wrong and I will only pay you 48%."
  "Hold on, hold on - I'll send you another invoice okay?"
  <'he hangs up on me>

  
  

  So I call another friend and get him to make me an invoice on his company's letterhead and then I scan it into my PC and send it to my Buddy as a PDF (which is how I've sent every damn document before this), asking him to send it on to the 'gentleman in accounting' (my exact words). Nothing more, not a whit of nastiness or anything. I did ask, given the delay in the payment, if in fact, the funds could go into my bank account. But if not, no problem, just let me know.

  
  

  Silence. for almost another week. Until I send Asshole a query email asking him if he did in fact receive the email, to which I get a snotty reply that he had already replied, the 'gentlemen' in question was HIM and in fact he had two MORE problems - he can't print it out and he won't make out the cheque to me because I am not a company. AND that there was no delay in his payment. Get my facts straight.

  
  

  Well shit. He obviously just cannot be bothered to print it out - and fucker, if you don't tell me you have a problem with the invoice until two weeks after I emailed it to you - and you don't tell your Boss either so he looks like a liar - then I would indeed say we have a delay in my fucking payment.

  
  

  What gets me, is his overt hostility to me. I've done nothing to him, I've kept my emails informal and friendly and there's no need for him to be such a prat. So now I have sent the damn thing to my husband, who will print it out and fax it to Asshole.

  
  

  To me, it is how you treat people that gets you work. Or clients. Or repeat business.

  
  

  I always go the extra mile for my clients, and always try and take a little off the top. I am friendly, I rearrange things when I am on a job, because I know that businesses don't care whether your child is sick or you have to go to Swimming lessons. That's part of the unwritten contract when you work from home. But in return, I expect respect, courtesy and some leeway in the fact that this is informal, such as - I understand you have last minute changes, you understand that my kids often take the opportunity when I am on the phone to shriek like banshees and,  I informally take 10% off the price -  you informally expedite my payment anyway you can without making me feel like shit.

  
  

  Quid pro quo, ya dig?

  
  

  Because I could write a stinging email to your Boss and phrase it in such a way that you will rue the day you tried to boost your flaggin ego at my expense. I will get you exiled to a rural bus station selling one day cut rate excursions to the local cannery. Just because you are the kind of person who personifies assholedom, doesn't mean you can treat me like shit.

  
  

  I have yet to send another email. I have not yet decided whether to let it go, or be petty and vengeful.

  • 11:55 pm
  • 16 Comments