May 10, 2004
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Mothers Day.
Sucked as usual. Listen I know it's my fault - I expect too much. I really buy into the Oprah-Hallmark moment shite that tells me I will be appreciated and celebrated and that it is my special day and all will be peaceful and light.
Fucketty. Lemme tell you about Mother's Day. Firstly, I have to 'allow' my hub to sneak off when we are BOTH doing the supermarket shopping to go and buy a card. Actually, I have to tell him to do it. Because if I don't - there won't be any, and that will really really bum me out. And ya know, as bad as it is to have to remind someone to go and get you a card, it's worse when you don't and there's nothing. Trust me on this. I've done it both ways. So anyway, since all I am getting is a card, you'd think it would be a nice one, but no, I go looking for him and find him in the $2 Shop, where all Mother's Day cards are 75 cents and made out of thin flimsy cardboard with spelling mistakes on them where someone has badly translated the sentiments from Korean.
Fucketty. So he graciously says that I can sleep in the guest room so I can get a full nights sleep (Child One is having night terrors and Child Two is teething) and then, he sleeps thru not one but both kids screaming. So I am running up and down the stairs all night until 3am. Granted, I do get to sleep in until 10am - but trust me, this counts against me in the great sleep scorecard, so I won't be lying around napping off my 3 week sleep deficit in the afternoon, since after all, he gets up every day at 5:30am. (and wakes the whole house up too, but I digress).
So I've arranged a lunch at a restaurant. Note please, that 'I' arranged it. Not him. Me. And we have to leave at 11:30am. So I get up, receive my gift from Child One (a spangly papermache necklace which I adored) and her own handwritten card, and make the kids breakfast. Because even though they've supposedly been up since 7am - they have not yet eaten. Or gotten dressed.The TV is on blaring, the youngest is crawling around in a soggy diaper and the oldest appears to be eating Fruit Rollups. He, however, has managed to smoke half a pack of cigs.
So I jump in the shower, get both kids dressed, iron a shirt and off we go. He gets himself ready. Wherein the kids misbehave wildly at the restaurant, Hub gets the pouts because he is stuck feeding the baby for a change and basically I am so depressed that this is my life, that I just want to run away.
So I sit on the couch until it's time to make dinner and watch Oprah tell me how valued motherhood is.
Yeah right.
Comments (11)
When my friends ask cheerily, "So how was your Mother's Day?" I have to stop myself from saying grumpily, "Well -- I spent it being a mother, okay?"
On the other hand, I can hardly complain of treatment like this. I hope your spouse's Father's Day is similarly sobering.
[[[BIG HUGS]]]
Sounds like my mothers day, esp the bit when you get up to find the kids still in PJ, in soggy nappies and unfed. I did leave. I went and did the grocery shopping by myself it beats listening to the kids scream. Luv and hugs
Expectations will ruin a good day every time. Too bad you had them ruin yours.
Steve
I admit, I'm a whore, I got my rock for Mother's Day two years ago and I'm embarrassed to say it worked to convert that whole horrible making the kids breakfast on Mother's Day morning...the sentiment from the boy this year, of his own initiative, despite no gift other than watching children while I took a shower, makes a big difference, especially when (yep) I had zero expectation.
urg, how depressing!
I'm at the point where I a) buy my own gift and make him wrap it and b) shooo him off to the store to buy a card. The boys are old enough that they make fabulous little creations at school. We don't drag the boys out to eat because it's rarely enjoyable for us grownups. (big hug stressie + what does oprah know? she has no kids)
I'm so glad I'm not a mother. Although I have often been called one. At least that was half of the name.
*huggles*
ouch. you should have gone off to lunch by yourself. But it truly does suck that your dh couldn't at least manage to take actual care of the kids for the morning. My dh does not "do" mother's day either - he says I'm not "his" mother - yeah, whatever. I'm not that invested in it, but I do now have a 6yo who has his own initiative and who saw to it to make me several cards & drawings, so that's all I needed to make my day
I'm a guy. Let's establish that right away. In OUR household, if I can get through a Mothers Day or a Christmas or a wife's birthday or an anniversary without getting either yelled at or get silence treatmented, I count it as a success. This year, on Mothers Day, with no prompting, I bought a card and a decorative doodad -- some kind of glass thing with pretty rocks or something. And I didn't get yelled at or silence treatmented. SUCCESS!!! (Of course, it helps that there are no kids in the house, only dogs.)
Wow. I hear this. I have no-one but my kidz to make mothers' day so they make me cards at school and sometimes little gifts that I treasure....now that my ex is in the vicinity, sometimes they will beg to go to the dollar store to buy me something with their own money.....or not.
This year wasn't MY day to have them on that day but I wanted them, come hell or high water I really didn't give a shit whether it was "his" day or mine, it was mine.....they were rotten as usual but we went to the park and played on the swings and made a "picnic"...and it was really only in between that they were rotten......it was a great day.
HOWever....2 yrs ago, 3 yrs ago, 4 yrs ago.......I was a fucking shrieking hyena that I needed them to JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!! I didn't think of mothers' day as a day of celebrating motherhood, I thought of it as a day where out of some appreciation I'd get a break, like a reward for all my hard work...NOT!
You're okay.
BTW...I used to read you every day for a long long time and then I stopped when you stopped and guess what? I still dislike your husband as much as I did about 18 mos ago. I'll shut up now and crawl back into my little hole.
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