May 1, 2002

  • Cheap.


    Okay - this is a cheap nasty and superficial rant. So stop reading if you are gonna get po-faced and righteous, okay?


    Last night I got online and read someone's blog that talked about how big Xanga is. Well I hadn't a clue since I tend to be terribly terribly loyal to those who read me, and read them and only them in return.  yeah well, and I still drink only one single malt scotch as well.


    But I digress.


    So I read everyone and commented and propped and tried to sound witty, and lawdie - the Mouse was still asleep, so I clicked on the 'Find a Random Site' thingie on the Xanga Home page.


    And this is what I got:


    (a few details have been changed but if you can figure out who this is and what they said, bless you for you are the chosen one.)


    hEy...i bEen kiNda bz dEze dayz......im dePrEssIn n stReSsin...sOmtYmz i WOnDer if iz wUrT it, gOIn tHrU liFe in a rUteEn, eVry weEkdAy tO skoo...~i gEt sO mAd bEcAs wE spINt aBat a fOrT oR thIrT our liFes iN sKoo....i mEan is dAt rIlLy woRtH it? jEz trY tO gE riCh, hAv a niCe life, n pAss iT on...i mEan riLly, dIz is kInda stUpiD i thiNk abOut it.....siNs wE cAn rEmEBer, wEre in skOo, till wHeN we iN mId 20's...myBe iZ mE, bUt i rilLy doNt like sKoo...i dunNo...


    but wait, there's more:


    hEy*~pPl tOdAi wUz ReaLlI BoRiNg..mAn mYE BaCk iZ KilLiN Me.sOo bOrIn aFtErSkOoL CuZ EBe1 hAb BaNd so mE jUsT wenT HomE.MaN I hAb 2 gO 2 ChUrCh ToDaI iSh. Uh...(o.O)weLl Ne wAyZ mE SoO FrEaKeN BoReD RiTe nOw..wElL


    Someone please translate. And these are just some of the many I kept getting. It makes my head hurt. What language is this? And is it hip and i am just so far into the dark ages that I don't get it? There are lots of them out there. Is this some secret high school thing? is it written like this so old fuddy duddies like me won't get it and start snorting about the decline in today's youth?


    I mean, I want to say - great, this person is writing and thinking and that's the point. And that english isn't a static language and it is constantly evolving and needs to stay fresh.


    But I can't. This is just painful. And pointless. And unreadable. And scary. And worst of all... B.O.R.I.N.G.


    If you are going to write - tell me about something that matters to you. Tell me how you hate chemistry and your teacher has an ass the size of Cleveland and wears plaid suits, tell me about the cool kids who make you feel like shit, tell me you did a shitload of drugs when your parents went out of town, or you just had great sex or you failed your trig exam and your parents will go nuts, or your dad is an asshole or something that means something to you dammit!


    Good on kids for wanting to write. And who cares about grammar, cos I sure don't - not on a blog. But hot damn, if you are going to go to all the effort of putting your words out there - make them readable, legible and worth the effort. This is just verbal word salad. You won't be able to read them yourselves in 2 years time.


    aN b-ziDs, mebe iFn u wEn to skOo mOr u  cUd spIl aN wUd bE da riCh n hAv a niZe lIf iNsTed of bE mEkIn mI iZ pOp oUTtA mA skUUll.


    (and so sayeth the bitch. Off to read Charles Bukowski)

Comments (35)

  • ROFL!  I hear ya!

  • All I have to say is....can I get an AMEN !!

  • stress, you are a bitch and i am cackling loudly at my keyboard! U R speshul.

  • HAYEE!1!! N0 PHAYR! BAK WH3N EYE WUZ @ TYKE... shit. can't do it.

    Back when I was a tyke, back the days of BBSes, the kids would type in what we'd call 'munchie.' That kind of language has about 15-20 years of history. The problem is that at least we were *saying* stuff.

  • Here's a better specific example.

  • I am getting "munchie", it says something and is readable. And I can even chat in it sort of, cos I am real old. But I am not gEdiNg sPesHuL lAk uP dEre, HoMeS.

  • *giggle* *reads on* *laughs loud*

    I have been waiting for someone to write this exact blog. I must say: I was bored out of my mind in highschool too, but I think I would've come up with something: stories on wicked teachers or 'wild' parties or breaking into the house of a boy that my best friend fancied, by climbing up the rainpipe and into his bedrooom HAHA that was good! There must be SOMETHING interesting going on...

  • LMAO I cant read it either...must be a ploy from the xanga gods to get people to read it , cause whenever I go for a random site I get that shit too...

  • Hear, hear. We need a "kiddie random" button, and an "adult random" button. I don't use it anymore, because it's just pointless for me.

  • Right on sister!  I have often wondered the same things, and I sure as heck can't figure any of this out!  I guess we're old *shrugs*

  • That's what pops up every time I hit 'random blog' also, SM.  Takes way too much brain power to try to sort out what they are saying.  Maybe I am getting old, but heck, it must take them FOREVER to type in lower and upper case letters like that.  Oh well.  Hope you and Mouse are having a good day SM.

  • I was trying to find more blogrings to join, and I kept running across the same thing ... not that MWA isn't good enough :) . Anywayz boyz . . I thought I'd try using that oh-so-special teenage language, but the effort of just making the words seemed a waste of time. I was having your same thoughts! On the other hand, I ran across a crotchety old lady who complained about her employees who just didn't listen. I bet they have to call her ma'am. Excuse the ramblin'.

  • I love reading blogs that make me belly laugh in the morning. My whole day is now starting out just a little brighter. Thanks.

    Steve

  • Several thoughts:  I suspect that one of the points of that kind of writing is that it is a kind of code that old ppl like us aren't supposed to get.  Also, many wireless text messaging devices have predictive input features that are great if you know how to spell, but maddening if you don't...so maddening that one might be inclined to go fully manual with the input...and this kind of writing is a very logical reaction to that. 

    Regarding the issue of content, however, I find myself turning to the words of Flannery O'Connor, "Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them."

    Maybe they just need some air and light and space.

  • Thanks for a great laugh.  I've seen a bunch of these, and thought, what's the point?

  • You know I love you. This is one of the many, many reasons why.

  • amen sister.

    "You know I love you. This is one of the many, many reasons why." - to be a shameless slut & copy James.

    smooch.

  • Your Xanga name intrigued me so I clicked on it ... and what a hoot!!  Gotta love it when someone else (who also shares my birth year) says exactly what I've been thinking every time I hit "random site".

    Please keep up the humour thoughts, we who are obviously too *ahem* "old" to understand these people love it.

  • When I was a teenager my friends and I shortened all words to one syllable, "want to go to Den for a cunt scram?"

  • Amen!

  • mmm, cunt scram!

    when my cousin was about 15 or 16, we used to email alot, and i had to actually tell her to stop writing that way.  it took 10 times longer than it should have to read her emails, and by the time i got to the end i didn't even care what she was saying anymore. 

    fine if the young 'uns want to drive each other blind with that shit, but talk to elderly old me in Traditional Geriatric English!

  • hahahaha

    those blogs annoy me also.

  • thanks for posting this blog. it's so funny. i have to slap myself when i am tempted to push the 'random site' button and try to read these things. ugh!

    part of me says, "Yeah!" then on the other hand, part of me says, "well, if these kinds of blogs make kids feel better and prevents them from killing themselves or a bunch of people in school or out in the greater world, have at it and type away..." i just won't read it.

  • No shit...that drives me nuts too.  Thanks for making me laugh while I read it! 

  • WoT r J00 taLking BoUt?

    What worries me is that someone out there can read that garbage easier then they can actual English.

    I'm all for most kinds of expression but I don't really consider that drivel expression

  • LOL! I have a nephew who tried to write me e-mails with that, he uses English now!

  • LMAO!! 

  • cheers to the buk!

    it's an epidemic. and oh yeah:

    tOdAy iB dRinKiNz MaDbEeRzZZZ. nOwHaTiMsAyIn DaWg? hOlla.

  • you said Charles Bukowski and that makes you my new best friend.

    as for the rest blogged this too, it drives me friggin INSANE and if I ever catch Dylan doing this I will make him wish he did not come from my loins.

  • I work at one of the local school districts, and it is scary, a lot of the kids actually talk like that...I am for sure not hip to the groove and don't care to be if it means that!

  • Sheeeit.  LMAO (again!).  Now Im gun tRi thu rAnDUm kee 2....

  • Wait, I know, maybe it's a secret code used by terrorists!  We could save the world if we just decode it!  Wait, maybe I've been watching too much TV.......

  • i just joined, ya know. and dayum, was all I could think after i posted... what else is out here in the big xanga world?? cos' stress, jazz, penny, princess and all the girls are so cool that *everyone* must be cool here. click click, what the fuck is THIS?? this is writing? why publish, why bother? Made me feel like my life is perty damn kewl, aw, there I goes wid my redneck ghetto shiznit...

  • I used to write in funky languages only my friends(the very bored ones) had the patience to decode. Like even tonight I was emailing a friend about my "dh" and he had no clue wtf that was. So I still do it to an extent. Anyway, I was wondering what they were saying so here is the 1st paragraph translated:

    "hey...I been kinda busy these days... i'm depressing and stressing...sometimes I wonder if it is worth it, going through life in a routine, every weekday to school, I get so mad because we spend about a fourth or third (of) our lives in school... I mean, is that really worth it? Just try to get rich, have a nice life, and pass it on... I mean really, "dlz" is kinda stupid i think about it... since we can remember, we're in school, till when we're in (our) mid 20's... maybe it's me, but I really don't like school... I dunno..."

    Kids these days: - )

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