April 16, 2002

  • Small.


    It is the small things that make my life worth living on some days.


    Spent most of my night disentangling my daughter's sweaty arms from around my neck and avoiding the drool spot on my pillow. There are three other pillows in the bed, but it's mine she wants. A sleepless night - not much to commend it, except waking up to a soft-lashed round face not an inch away from mine saying 'love you beeg mama'. That's okay kid, you can tangle yourself around me anytime.


    We made a cake. There was batter all over the kitchen and ourselves. I flaked batter when I walked. But she mixed and poured it herself. Worth the mess just to see how pleased she was with herself.


    Went to the park by the lake for a picnic. Practiced how to swing like a big girl, and mama got her ass wedged in the kiddie swing trying to prove a point. My daughter's helpless glee was worth the momentary embarassment in front of the po-faced matrons any day.


    Fed the ducks. Watched my girl gather enough courage to pat a dog all by herself. She was so proud afterwards, she swaggered. Her little bum was positively twinkling with glee.


    Managed to road test some tricycles. Decided that we want the one with the silver streamers and the low rider seat and high rake handlebars. She has taste.


    Stopped into a cafe to have lunch. We shared smoked oysters salad and a bowl of Pad Thai. I got to actually eat my lunch all the way through. We conversed in a fashion and I learned that Ella likes lollipops and cake and so does Daddy and Mummy has the same water bottle as Mouse and did I know that Elmo had a fish and a telephone. Among other things. I ate my lunch with my daughter.


    And a lady stopped to tell me how well behaved my child was. I thought she was just being herself. And that made me feel terrific.


    And I got to finish the book I am reading while she napped in the sun. Stretched out on a blanket, my girl curled like a spoon around my back, for a moment I was blissfully and transcedentally happy. And that filtered through today like fairy dust.


    Days like these, I know I am doing it right. I tell you, it's the small things that save your sanity.

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