March 15, 2002

  • Unemployed.
    Yup, today at 4pm, I got the news. The job I've had for the past is no more.The reason? They are going to hire a 'professional' copywriter.


    Part of what I've been doing apart from managing 3 million dollar projects is write damn advertising copy - which I suck at, since I cannot lie about the product that I end up sweating blood to put in. And the product bites big time. In my not so humble opinion.


    Bottom line: he needs marketing schmoose more than he needs a project manager, cos as he says' once they've signed the contract and paid ½ million, they ain't going nowhere'. So much for ethics.


    Still, I took his money and tap-danced my way along the line. But I still managed to stay truthful and loyal.


    Dammit. I had some integrity, you know? My clients knew I'd never lie to them, and I always tried to do the right thing by them. I still have clients that ask about me from 3 years ago. Where has that got me? UN-EMP-LOY-EEEED.


    Dammit. Now my birthday money will go towards paying the mortgage. WOO fucking HOO.


    Dammit. Now I won't have a little 40th birthday treat. I wanted a little birthday treat. Dad told me to buy something sparkly. Oh goody, we got the vacuum cleaner fixed.


    Dammit. Now I am wallowing in self-pity and I hate hate hate that when it happens.


    The mental 'Jiminy Cricket' I have sitting on my shoulder gives me a really hard time when I start moaning 'woe is me'.


    Sez Jiminy: Other women have a harder time. Your hub loves you and is faithful; you have problems, but you seem to be working them out. Okay, it's taking a high priced shrink, but well, hey, many people can't afford shrinks, they shout at Oprah instead. You have some money in the bank finally after his job loss in December. You still have some savings. You have some work coming in. You both have your health and you have (most of) your teeth. You could be living in a trailer park eating tinned Vienna Sausage and watching Full House re-runs.Sez I: Fucketty fuck to YOU Jiminy. I may have no right to wallow and curl up and pull the covers over my head, but dammit I feel life owes me this at least. Everyone needs a good wallow. Where's the bug spray. Die you little green cartoon fucker, I liked Gepetto better anyway.


    It's not fair. It's not fair at all. WAAAAH!


    I feel like my two year old. I want to drum my fists on the floor and jump up and down. I want to scream with rage and throw something. I want to run outside and smash windows, tear up the lawn and run as far away as I can. I want to dance to something loud and ear splitting and thumping and hateful. Where's my NWA CD? I want the pictures to shake off the walls and the dog to cower. I want to walk down the street with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. I want to kick dogs, yell obscenities at small children and push old ladies out of my way. And.Not.Give.A.Damn.


    There is no point to being a good person. None.


    Fuck karma; fuck my reward in heaven, I want some slack cut NOW. Gimme a machine gun, I want to blast it at the heavens.


    *time passes while I wait*


    Okay - it isn't going to happen, and I am for gun control anyway, so in that case, I want a bottle of good red wine and a joint and some good drugs cos I am sick of being good and honourable and upright and responsible. Time to get drunk and sloppy and maudlin. I'll be good and moral and dependable tomorrow, tonight I am going to get bad. Sue me. I couldn't pay you anyway. And I couldn't care less.

Comments (14)

  • Shit.    I'm sorry, Stress.  That sucks bigtime.

  • Damned if I'll sit on your shoulder now.

  • My adorable love-lump...when will the suckage end?
    I will only say this because it had to have occurred to you already (don't slap me)...NOW you will get pregnant!  SMOOCH!

  • Your not having a good day huh? LOL Oh man my lovely understatement of the YEAR! Sigh well (((hugs))) and I hope things getter better. Drink one down for ME!

  • (((Hugs))) Hope things start to turn around for you soon.

    Umm...I thought it was normal to have those two year old tantrums. I do it all the time. It feels good.

  • you don't deserve this!  yes, liquor, drugs, etc, etc, etc.  have fun. 

  • Smoke that joint and smoke one for me.

    As for your situation: Good luck ~ things get better.  Or do they?  I'm not one for giving advice, which is why my life is so screwed up sometimes.  So, I'll keep my mouth shut.

  • ROCK! I love this. Especially the part about not caring if you're a good person. I feel that way so much of the time. Too damned responsible. "Yell obscenities at small children and knock old ladies out of the way". This is brilliant. It's really brilliant.

    Should I come over around 8pm?

  • Sorry.   Boy you are gonna be very lit if you drink one for everyone that said to drink one for them..lol.   Enjoy your drinking and joint binge!  Say fuck it for a day and act like a two year old.  We are all entitled to a good temper tantrum now and then.

  • In the past I have felt almost the same way.

    Steve

  • Now you can come be my nanny, right?  You wouldnt' even have to clean anything...it's not like I would know the difference.  I'll head off everyday to fight crime and you can take the beebees to the park.  There are three parks within a few blocks, and beaches, and bars...  Just think it over.  We have a great retirement plan.

  • Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat.
    Sir Julian Huxley

    TOTALLY sucks - you have every right to a good wallow (and I'll quash my instinct to look on the bright side until you've safely stored that damn bug spray cannister....).  Love you.

  • Well that SUX! Sorry to hear about your job.....you'll find a better one, no doubt in my mind....take care.

  • So sorry about the job.  Enjoy your wallow, get it together, and look for another if that's what you want... take some time off if not.

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