March 7, 2002
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Old.
I am old. I am so old that my teeth are falling out and my knees ache if I kneel on the floor for too long. I can’t sit for longer than an hour and a half in the cinema without shifting to protect my poor tailbone.
I hate it. I don’t do mortality very well.
Anyway.
My kid turns 2 the day after I turn 40. She’s having a big party and I am determined to make a big fuss of her. Hey, she’s only 2 once.
So then there’s me. And MY birthday.
To my way of thinking, there’s a few ways to handle my horror at hitting the big 40 when I can pass for 35 in a dim light.
Ignore it. Get up, sweetly accept any congrats that come my way and move on with the rest of the day.
Pros: the day will slip by and I won’t have to think about it. Cons: when I am moaning about turning 60, I’ll wonder why I was such a putz about turning 40.
Embrace it. I could have the whole day off to do something for me. Read, shop, get my feet done at a place that does feet thingies (can you tell I’ve never had this done), do some girly stuff at one of those places where they put cucumber on your eyes and talk soothingly about your pore size, go see a movie.
Pros: It has been 2 years since I’ve had an entire day to myself. Cons: yeah right. It will never happen. There will be some sort of crisis that will necessitate me sticking close to home. Like the milk fell on the floor.
Party thru it. Have a huge big drunken bash with all my friends who will drink too much and someone will throw up and possibly I might get engage in some illicit substance abuse which I have not done since a year before Mouse was born. And maybe I’d get to yell at some cops.
Pros: I am a wild child still and I miss the odd night of irresponsibility. Cons: The hangover. The hangover with a toddler.
Rock it. I could do is see a band – I haven’t seen a live band since I saw LIVE when I was 7 months pregnant. The Wiggles, and Sesame Street on Ice doesn’t count. I would love love to ruin my hearing and pass out in the midst of a horde again. Hey, I wouldn’t even have to do that. Spearhead is playing next week.
Pros: Dammit, I love good music. Cons: I am too damn old to mosh. I tried it 3 years ago and couldn’t walk for a week. And I felt like a big ASSFACE.
Defy it. I am debating swimming with the Great White Sharks in the Sydney Aquarium. Yes, I am deadly (geddit?) serious about this.
Pros: A once in a lifetime experience. Cons: Cat chow. Cat chow. Cat chow.
So what should I do? Help me turn 40.
Cos after this birthday sweetie darlings – the clock is going back on this old rat bag, I don't care how politically incorrect it is.
Comments (13)
Isn't it ironic? Just when your teeth fall out your knees give out. Oh well, can't have everything. *smile*
A friend of mine just turned forty a couple days ago. He really didn't handle it well. I can't remember that far back to know if I did better with it or not. I can promise you growing old isn't for sissies.
Defy it baby!
I voted. Hey, I really regret not celebrating my 30th, my baby was little it diodn't seem likje a big deal, now nearly three eyars later I regret it! Do something amazing woman!
Yep, growing old takes a lot of strength and character. A buddy of mine turned 40 last Sunday. It seemed to be a lousy day for him too.
You can do it well if you want to.
Steve
You could do something REALLY daring and swim with the toddlers. I think I voted twice.
see I say party through it then the next morning you'll be so hungover you'll forget your forty!
you're only forty once, too!
honey, I love the poll, and as a formerprincess, I naturally embrace the whole girly aspect of it. I didn't do anything when I turned 30 (although we had a big-ass party for dh when he turned 30) and I say "do something to remember." What else will we have to entertain us when we're camped out at the old gals home together? (Yes, I'm joining you & larston).
early birthday kisses.
fp
ps: I forgot to add that my oldest son was born 2 hours before my birthday, thus ripping off my "day" for the rest of my life...and my middle child was born the day after mother's day, so I always have to share, too. whaaa. etc, etc, etc
Hey all, the sharks are winning. Are you trying to tell me something? None of you are mentioned in my will, by the way.
And on my 30th I saw Steve Earle and got very very drunk and then went to a nbightclub and danced till 5am with a passel of friends. It was fun, but I don't think I can do it again, 10 years later.
I knew if I made an entire entry devoted to telling you I couldn't get your comments section to work it would start working!
I voted for you to ROCK IT. Invite Iggy!
{{{{Happy Birthday!!!}}}}
I'ld tell you to go feed the sharks but are you sure your not too old and tough? They might throw you back.
I made my mother inlaw a grandmother at 35 and I'll tell you what she did with it. Nothing, she got old and laid down and din't get up. When my dad turned 50 he retired and began waiting to die, until he met an agressive ol' tart who kicks him in the butt regular and now they travel world wide. (Hey Dad, got your one email in the last year!) My mom is fifty-five this year and she lives in the praries of Wyoming. She has arthritis in several joints including her hands, she has the bottom of her spine fused together but she rides her horse as often as she can. She owns and works at her fencing company and still kick any punks ass who tries to mess with her. She has 13 grandkids and I dare anyone to call her old.
Who are you? What do you really want that you aren't getting? I say make it a Happy Birthday! We need more tarts!
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