February 5, 2002

  • Cowardice.


    I just looked out the window to see my dog playing with a half-dead mouse. Now if any of you are animal lovers, stop here. I mean it. Stop reading.


    The mouse and his buddies have been terrorising me for the past week. Scampering past me in the half gloom of early morning toilet trips, scuttling behind the computer so I type with my feet on the chair, and rustling under the kitchen sink so I snatch the potatoes out with my eyes closed. They are scratching at the cupboard doors at 4am with their little sharp claws and gnawing on the pantry door with their little yellow teeth.


    I have humane traps all over the house, at least in places where I can see the mouse poop. Which is a constant surprise. Sort of like a turd for a Christmas present, actually.


    So the poop is everywhere I look. I have caught three of the little bastards, and had to unsmoosh a head when the so-called humane trap WASN'T and that still has me retching.


    (pardon me while I complete a dry gag at the memory) I am notoriously squeamish, okay?


    So now you know how I feel about the mouse/meeses. on a par with big cockroaches, and those lovely denizens of the Australian bush - the Huntsman spider.


    Nevertheless, it is incredibly disturbing to see my dog (Australian Kelpie) pounce on this little grey quivering THING and then letting it go. I mean, does she have to do it right in front of the window? Can she go and have her fun in private so I don't have to sit here, wrestling with my conscience as to whether to go out there and like... DEAL with this half chewed slobbery little morsel?


    Would I have to pick it up? Would I use a shovel? And if I used a shovel would I have to bend down and get real close to it in order to scoop up all the bits? What if bits fell off? What am I supposed to do then? Pick them up with a spoon?What if bits fell off on ME??? What if they were gooshy?


    Fuck it.


    Law of the jungle, c'est la vie.


    OH DAMMIT! She's brought it back and placed it right outside the screen door. Fuck.


    The dog can stay out ALL night.

Comments (9)

  • ***eeek!!! A Mouse***** What a fun story

  • yucko. I don't like rodents, so I was not offended in the least. House pets are notorious for leaving creepy things in the house. My sister's cat (they live in the desert) ate a lizard once and threw it up on the kitchen floor. Oh, did I mention everything was a green, goey, digested puddle except for a perfectly intact lizard arm sitting in the middle of it?

    I knew you'd just love this story.

    ps. thanks for your funny comment. I knew I could count on you for a good rant.

  • HEY PINK! Did you like the linkie from my site to your most excellent scathing rant about the little weeny-dick guy? And barf on the lizard story. BARF.

    And yeah, no kidding, eek a Mouse, Starfish.

  • My friend got in her car that had been stored for a few months, headed down the road...as the heater got up to speed, HUNDREDS of mice started swarming her.  Apparently they had been nesting under the dash.  She freaked out for DAYS.

    My cat, Peter, used to leave dead mice on my chest as I slept.

  • You're a peach Lar, that's such a nice story to tell me. SLAPITTY SLAP!

  • whenever my cats leave "gifts" for me... as long as it's 'fresh' and still has a tail I pick it up by that and throw it down the hill.  Beats digging a hole and burying it... 1-2-3 and it's done with.  Luckily my cats don't go hunting much anymore.

    Stuff like that doesn't bother me... Spiders- that's another story.  I had a dream about a brown poisonous spider- it liked to have freaked me out!

  • This is the one of the first blogs I read every morning.  I love your adventures!  Didn't gross me out, but it made me laugh...I'm the same way when the cats are "toying" with some critter.  Do I try to save it?  Do I hit the cat?  What if it runs up my leg in it's attempt to escape?  What if I drop dead when it does that...who will raise my kids?

    One summer here, the big thing was to catch a mouse outside, kill it, and leave only it's headless little body outside the front door.  Scary.  I don't even wanna know...

    Thank you - for starting off a long work day for me with a big smile! 

  • I have such problems that stem from anthropomorphizing things...I have to save everything.  I mean how would you feel if Mr MacGregor's cat bit off Peter's head?  Denial is cheaper than therapy...

  • I would be fine with it if saving Peter meant I had to scoop up his bits...

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment